Daul Kims suicide caused a lot of blog posts, comments, condolence, news and taking-the-inward-turn to many people. Some bloggers (like Lulu Chang) spoke truly and once again revealed that they´re not the lucky girls that people think they are.
I´m a kind of girl who self-reflects herself everyday in every moment. When I read Lulu´s words I thought: "How can you indirect offend all of the other bloggers who created a perfect world in the world wide web?!? Maybe they need it."
But then I realised that she was so right. Why create a blog in which you just show your almost perfect life (I´m still not good in doing that; there are many posts in which I decry myself)?
Always just posting the positive and beautiful things, showing the world that you´re living a perfect life?! For whom? Nobody´s going to feel better when you´re keeping an superficial blog, just wanting other bloggers or readers to envy you, follow you and tell you how beautiful and great you are.
When I began to blog I never wanted to run such a personal blog Lulu described, but it literally turned to one of those. How I recognized that?
- Sometimes I buy stuff just because I think it would look great in a pic of this blog - I myself am the one who envies other bloggers (for a fucking pair of shoes or the figure) - I´ve achieved a person in this blog which is not really me, but when I´m surfing around in the blogosphere I really do think that I´m this person who sits in front of her PC, dressed up from head to toe - I´m posting about food because I love food; but I really do hate eating it: The whole concept of me is dishonest EDIT: No, I looove eating! ;o) - The world is not ideal, I´m pretending it - I´m controlled by the fear that my blog will be found from people I know (or from my region) and that they get to know me more than I want to; an idealized Laarni is not attackable (but on the other side I´m flattered when I get in touch with people who want to report about me)
Why I´m telling the world (or five readers;...; oh, there´s the decrying Laarni again) all of this? Maybe it´s a winter depression, a moment of loneliness or because a 20 year-old Supermodel, who in the eyes of many people ought to be a happy girl, commited suicide.
It could happen that I´m going to delete this post in a while again: the inner monster in me, who wanted to create this enviable blogger, may prevail and end the honesty. Thanks for reading.
P. S. Gosh, there are really many skin-deep blogs out there!
Today I got to know Tina, who is a student of journalism at our university here in Wilhelmshaven. Why I got to know her?
She contacted me and asked if I would be interested in an interview with her and tell her more about blogging and stuff like that. Her aspiration is to report about the local blogosphere here in Wilhelmshaven, to explain the motif of blogging and to discuss if blogging is a kind of journalism for the modern world, even for young and old people.
Hopefully I´m able to show you the result in March, when the insert "impuls.nordwest" will be published with the daily newspapers of this region.